They say a rolling stone gathers no moss. We’ll let me tell you, three people sitting in a Mustang for more than eight days gather plenty of moss, and other things too. To say that the odor emanating from the new 2009 Ford Mustang is foul, is like saying Megan Fox is easy on the eyes, or that Michael Jackson was a little weird. It just doesn’t cover the dramatic scope of the all-out stench that billows from inside this finely-tuned stink machine.
Challenges, or adversity, come in all shapes and forms. Most recently I saw it come in a small aluminum can. Of course, by now you’re probably wondering what in the world I’m talking about. We’ll let me bring you up to speed with why my pal silent John who lives in a car in South Philadelphia is my new hero.
Just yesterday a team from American Muscle returned to the site of our Live in It to Win It contest to win a brand-new 2009 Ford Mustang. That’s right, win a Mustang people. As in FREE!
Having made friends with our four willing contestants, we opted to bring them a few items they had requested upon our first meeting when the competition kicked off Monday morning live on the Danny Bonaduce Show on 94WYSP Philadelphia.
Our gift basket consisted of a few items our new friends had requested, plus a few surprises. Soon after our arrival we learned that while all four contestants remain, the climate had changed from new and exciting to, well, a bit more foul. Actually, foul doesn’t cut it. The smell pouring out of this car could gag innocent bystanders more than a mile away.
One by one handing out edible gifts, Silent John was suddenly filled with life as the sight of an ice cold energy drink—before you’d a had to check him for a pulse. John’s lust for the caffeine-infused beverage was clear on his face and in his voice. At our suggestion, John tipped the can upward, pouring every last drop of canned-adrenaline into his willing mouth. Our team was both impressed and scared given the potential consequences for such an act.
Following a few standard questions and some genuine well wishes, our team returned to the office to develop the next great sale for you, our loyal patrons.
Shortly after our departure, we learned that while our friend John was eager to down our energy drink, his stomach was not. Doubled over and holding back the blow, our man John fought tirelessly as the clock wound down to the regularly scheduled break where the contestants would be allowed out of the car for just 15 minutes. Holding on to his dignity, and his lunch, John knew that spewing warm energy drink across the dash was an automatic disqualification from the contest he was so determined to win. Still the clock counted down. Twenty minutes, 10, five minutes to go. Green as could be, John held off the barf-monster until the break bell rang and he lunged from the car only to release the complete contents of his stomach across the drive and much of the parking lot.
At American Muscle, we can only say: Well done Not-so-silent John. You came to play. You have our applause and our respect. And you can have another case of that energy drink anytime you like. We even deliver, as long as you live in a new Ford Mustang in front of Tony Luke’s.
No matter where and when your 15 minutes of fame happens, I can guarantee it’ll be over before you know it. The glitz and glamor move away to something new and shiny leaving you standing there with a stuffed beaver, two midgets and a basket full of muffins. Wait… that’s just me. But it’s funny how things change dramatically when the spotlight goes dim.
For our four friends in South Philly, the media circus that launched their departure on this great and scary journey just yesterday has subsided as fans and friends retreat to watch and wait to see who will completely snap first on their way to win a brand new 2009 Mustang. Having seen the following video on our four contestants, in addition to live video feed on 94WYSP Philadelphia’s website, it seems that all of our friends confined in the 2-door muscle car are holding steady, and have plenty of time read, if only they were allowed books. That’s where swashbuckling imaginary friends like my pal Federico Monte Christo Esperanza III are handy. Take it from me; you’re never alone when Fred’s around to have an imaginary sword fight.
Here’s the latest from the AmericanMuscle.com Mustang Give Away…
It’s 6am in South Philly and the AmericanMuscle crew is standing in front of cheese steak czar Tony Luke’s to give away a brand-new 2009 Ford Mustang in one twisted contest. Oh, yeah, and shock-jock Danny Bonaduce is there, too broadcasting live.
Question: What do a brand-new 2009 Mustang, a Philly Cheese Steak, and Danny Bonaduce have in common?
Answer: AmericanMuscle.com. Duh!
Sometimes I find myself in the most peculiar situations. I’m not talking about waking up on a beach in Mexico hugging a nine-foot inflatable rabbit or anything, but peculiar nonetheless. This morning at 6am I was standing curbside in front of famed Philly Cheese Steak factory Tony Luke’s in South Philadelphia with child-star-turned-DJ Danny Bonaduce, four average-Joes and a brand-new 2009 Ford Mustang. Inflatable rabbit aside, this was a pretty strange experience for me. But then, when it comes to AmericanMuscle.com contests, you never know what to expect.
Backing up a bit, the reason I was standing on a curb in Philly at 6am with a notorious shock-jock was the AmericanMuscle.com Live in It to Win It contest. Okay, so the premise is simple: There can only be one! Highlander fans already know this. But for the rest of us, the concept is, well, still simple. Four people climb into a new Ford Mustang. He who stays in the car the longest, takes the keys, and the car. And because AmericanMuscle does nothing half…well, halfway, we recruited 94WYSP Philadelphia radio and cheese steak czar Tony Luke to complete the package.
Personally speaking: I’m not a morning person, mostly because mornings suck. Getting up a 4am to stand on a street corner is about as fun to me as being stuck in a phone booth in downtown Dayton, Ohio with Joan Rivers and 250 rabid woodchucks. But if you dangle a pair of keys to a brand new Mustang in front of me, you’ll see me hook up an I.V. blend of black coffee and Red Bull. Today I met John, Airen, Michele and Joshua, four aspiring Mustang owners who are living the dream. Each one of them fought their way through the rigorous video screening process to secure their shot at what could be the grandest prize of them all. Sure they all may be in need of a serious psychiatric evaluation, but I can’t say that, were I eligible, I wouldn’t do the same. I mean, come on people, a new Ford Mustang for just sitting in a car for a couple weeks. That’s like getting paid $25k for spending two weeks converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Count me in. Even I can do that. Now enter three strangers, limited restroom breaks, live radio coverage and a busy city street corner in the place that took New York sarcasm and turned it into an art. Now that’s a contest.
And then there’s Bonaduce, who is worthy of his own study in abnormal social behavior. I’ve met many people from all over this country in my years, and Danny Bonaduce has got to be one of the most dynamic, in-your-face, scary, charismatic, obnoxious, fascinating, and generally intriguing personalities I’ve come across. Taking time out from his morning radio show, Danny wasted no time before throwing on an AmericanMuscle Tee and sharing his opinion on the greatest Mustang ever built, and who he’d bring with him should he be trapped in a car with three strangers for an extended period of time. Check out the video to see if you agree. You’ll hear no arguments from me.
As for our four trapped Mustang fans, look for more videos over the next couple weeks on https://blog.americanmuscle.com/ as our candidates shed their smiling virgin faces and common human courtesy and replace them with severe sleep deprivation and poor personal hygiene. I’m putting my money on at least three suffering from a complete and total lack of self respect and any shred of tolerance for their three intimate roommates. Oh yeah, it’s gonna get good!
I spend a lot more time on Flickr than I probably should… Heck, I spend way too much time on the internet, period. That’s more of a personal problem though, and not exactly relevant to this post.
Anyway, I was checking out pictures of muscle cars on Flickr the other day, and I was floored at the sheer number of amazing Mustang photos. I figured I’d share some of my favorites with you here, so here we go – Here are the top 9 coolest Mustang pictures on Flickr.
“I don’t feel like driving to work today… I think I’ll fly instead.” Photo credit: Arnfinn Hushovd
So there you have it! This is by no means a comprehensive list – There are literally thousands of other Mustang photos on there… See for yourself! Or check out our Customer Rides page, where you can view an extensive collection of customer submitted photos.
Customer Survey Results in Humorous Results!
We recently surveyed a portion of our customers to see what they were searching for on American Muscle. The results were very useful in helping us to provide better products and services, but we also received quite a few “interesting” results at the same time!
Below you will find the top 15 most humorous searches that we came across…and our research team’s comments on them!
- Searched: “give me mustang parts”
- “I heard people say this internet thing is amazing, but I can’t seem to get it to do what I tell it to do. No matter how many times I ask, I just can’t seem to get the parts out of my computer.”
- Searched: “mustang parts?”
- “I frequently sit and ponder the meaning of mustang parts…”
- Searched: “2004 MASTANK PARTS”
- “The development of the MASTANK was the turning point in the war.”
- Searched: “obsolete mustang parts”
- “Today, I’d like to see a lot of things that are outdated and therefore useless.”
- Searched: “american mussel”
- “They go great with marinara sauce or a squeeze of lemon.”
- Searched: “saline wheels”
- “For Dry, Itchy, Irritated Wheels…”
- Searched: “mustang future parts”
- “Including the Cold Fusion Air Intake and the Steeda Flux Capacitor.”
- Searched: “1996 mustang gt is to slow”
- “Need mo’betta parts!”
- Searched: “4point6 mustang parts”
- “I don apostrophe t get it comma what is wrong with that search term question mark”
- Searched: “HOW TO GET FREE PARTS FOR A FORD MUSTANG 06”
- “Lie, Cheat or Steal. Same way I got my woman.”
- Searched: “black bullet hole wheels”
- “I know a couple of places in Philly you can get these for free.”
- Searched: “www.parts for 1192 ford mustang”
- “It’s well known that Genghis Khan drove a Mach 1. I think that’s why the Chinese built that wall.”
- Searched: “mustang luvers”
- “Gives the word “auto-erotic” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?”
- Searched: “parts for inside my mustang”
- “You mean, like, a liver or an intestine? Cuz I know a guy…”
- Searched: “mustang assories”
- “Once I forgot to lock my door and my mom caught me looking at the assories catalog.”
So, what did you search for on American Muscle?
During the month of December 2008, rival forum members sent in objects to AmericanMuscle in an effort to earn the points necessary to bring victory to their forum, that and the fact that pictures of some poor AmericanMuscle Employee using the objects would be posted for their amusement. But, the objects sent in were of such wanton and gratuitous depravity that they could only be properly portrayed in this film.
Thanks for these terrible gifts:
Weiner Cleaner Soap, Stroke On A Rope, Liquid Ass Spray, Generic Toilet Paper, T-Shirt, Party Blaster, Grass Skirt, Pink Lady Costume, Cyclone Water Gun, Hulk Smash Hands, Chandon Sparking Wine, Light Sabers, Rapid Fire Gatling Water Gun, Hydro Blast Morpher Water Gun, Insult Button, Poo Pen, French Maid Costume, Rolex & Giant Watch, Dominos Gift Card, Marshmallow Blaster, Bag of Marshmallows, Large Bag of Candy, Ricer Piñata, GT500 Model, NASCAR Banner, Secrete Mission Spy Set, Princess Phone, Rubber Ducky, Squirt Camera, Nasal Aspirator, Pregnancy Test, Dog Chew Toy, Duct Tape, Light Saber, Adult Diapers, NOS Drink, Nerf Gun, Hair Dye, Makeup, and an Old Cell Phone
Disclaimer: Stunts were all performed by professionals. Please do not try anything shown in this film at home! This movie is rated WTF, and while its contents really should not be viewed by anyone, parental guidance is suggested.
Enjoy this movie? DIGG it here: http://digg.com/comedy/Craziest_Christmas_Gift_Movie_Ever_Period
With Christmas almost here, that means 2008 is just around the corner. Wouldn’t it be great if you could mark off the days with a calendar filled with hot girls and hot Mustang parts? Now you can!
AmericanMuscle is happy to introduce the AmericanMuscle & Modified Mustang 2008 Calendar.
With 12 months of scantily clad women and the hottest Mustang parts around, this calendar will keep you warm year round! What more can you ask for? The American Muscle & Modified Mustangs calendar is the perfect addition to any wall. It makes a great gift, too. Get one for yourself, and every other Mustang lover you know!
With a price this low, you really can’t go wrong. But these are flying off the shelves. Get yours today, while supplies last!
As Old Man Winter quickly inches closer, thoughts of staying warm are on everyone’s mind. I don’t know many people that like to drive with a bulky winter coat on, which is why these new AmericanMuscle sweatshirts are perfect!
Available in Black and Grey, these heavyweight, 100% Cotton sweatshirts are the perfect way to stay warm. Whether in class or on the job, in the car or on the couch, these sweatshirts are designed for maximum comfort in any environment. They feature the official AmericanMuscle.com logo on both the front and back, and are a great way to show your AmericanMuscle pride. And you can’t beat the prices! These are flying off the shelves, so get yours now!
And, while you’re picking up one of our sweatshirts, don’t forget to check out our ever-growing selection of Mustang T-Shirts for Men and Women. There’s something for everyone! T-shirts for the men, rompers for the babies, and tank tops for the babes. And much, much more! Check out the pics below for a sneak peek, and then come on over and see what else we’ve got!
Looking for the perfect gift for the Mustang lover in your life? Wanna show your Mustang love even when you’re not in your car? Now you can make a statement without saying a word with the latest in Mustang Jewelry from AmericanMuscle.com!
We offer several different styles of rings and necklaces for both men and women, and this Ford licensed jewelry is a must have for any die-hard Mustang fan.
Here’s a sneak peek at what we have!
Sterling Silver Mustang Ring — available in Men’s size 11 and Ladies’ size 7, this ring features the word ‘MUSTANG’ stamped in block lettering to match your ‘Stang’s bumper. The letters are black enamel and will look sharp on anyone’s finger.
Sterling Silver Mustang Script Ring — also available in a Ladies’ 7 and a Men’s 11, this ring features the word ‘MUSTANG’ in an elegant script.
Sterling Silver Mustang Running Pony Necklace — For the ladies delicate necks, this necklace comes on an 18" chain, and measures 3/4" wide by 1/8" tall. For the men, the pendant measures 1 and 1/4" wide by 7/16" tall and comes on an 18" chain. Made from highly detailed metal molds, each pendant is hand-filed and polished for a beautiful finish.
Sterling Silver Mustang Tri-Bar Pendant Necklace — Featuring an 18" rope chain, this sterling silver pendant measures 5/8" wide and 3/4" tall.
So, what are you waiting for? Christmas is coming! Buy your Mustang jewelry now, and surprise the Mustang lover in your life with these beautiful pieces.