Category: General

Top 15 Useless Customer Searches

Customer Survey Results in Humorous Results!

We recently surveyed a portion of our customers to see what they were searching for on American Muscle. The results were very useful in helping us to provide better products and services, but we also received quite a few “interesting” results at the same time!

Below you will find the top 15 most humorous searches that we came across…and our research team’s comments on them!

  1. Searched: “give me mustang parts”

    • “I heard people say this internet thing is amazing, but I can’t seem to get it to do what I tell it to do. No matter how many times I ask, I just can’t seem to get the parts out of my computer.”


  2. Searched: “mustang parts?”
    • “I frequently sit and ponder the meaning of mustang parts…”


  3. Searched: “2004 MASTANK PARTS”
    • “The development of the MASTANK was the turning point in the war.”


  4. Searched: “obsolete mustang parts”
    • “Today, I’d like to see a lot of things that are outdated and therefore useless.”


  5. Searched: “american mussel”
    • “They go great with marinara sauce or a squeeze of lemon.”


  6. Searched: “saline wheels”
    • “For Dry, Itchy, Irritated Wheels…”


  7. Searched: “mustang future parts”
    • “Including the Cold Fusion Air Intake and the Steeda Flux Capacitor.”


  8. Searched: “1996 mustang gt is to slow”
    • “Need mo’betta parts!”


  9. Searched: “4point6 mustang parts”
    • “I don apostrophe t get it comma what is wrong with that search term question mark”


  10. Searched: “HOW TO GET FREE PARTS FOR A FORD MUSTANG 06″
    • “Lie, Cheat or Steal. Same way I got my woman.”


  11. Searched: “black bullet hole wheels”
    • “I know a couple of places in Philly you can get these for free.”


  12. Searched: “www.parts for 1192 ford mustang”
    • “It’s well known that Genghis Khan drove a Mach 1. I think that’s why the Chinese built that wall.”


  13. Searched: “mustang luvers”
    • “Gives the word “auto-erotic” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?”


  14. Searched: “parts for inside my mustang”
    • “You mean, like, a liver or an intestine? Cuz I know a guy…”


  15. Searched: “mustang assories”
    • “Once I forgot to lock my door and my mom caught me looking at the assories catalog.”

So, what did you search for on American Muscle?

AmericanMuscle’s Battle Of The Forums Contest Finishes With An Epic Movie!

During the month of December 2008, rival forum members sent in objects to AmericanMuscle in an effort to earn the points necessary to bring victory to their forum, that and the fact that pictures of some poor AmericanMuscle Employee using the objects would be posted for their amusement. But, the objects sent in were of such wanton and gratuitous depravity that they could only be properly portrayed in this film.

 

 

Thanks for these terrible gifts:
Weiner Cleaner Soap, Stroke On A Rope, Liquid Ass Spray, Generic Toilet Paper, T-Shirt, Party Blaster, Grass Skirt, Pink Lady Costume, Cyclone Water Gun, Hulk Smash Hands, Chandon Sparking Wine, Light Sabers, Rapid Fire Gatling Water Gun, Hydro Blast Morpher Water Gun, Insult Button, Poo Pen, French Maid Costume, Rolex & Giant Watch, Dominos Gift Card, Marshmallow Blaster, Bag of Marshmallows, Large Bag of Candy, Ricer Piñata, GT500 Model, NASCAR Banner, Secrete Mission Spy Set, Princess Phone, Rubber Ducky, Squirt Camera, Nasal Aspirator, Pregnancy Test, Dog Chew Toy, Duct Tape, Light Saber, Adult Diapers, NOS Drink, Nerf Gun, Hair Dye, Makeup, and an Old Cell Phone

Disclaimer: Stunts were all performed by professionals. Please do not try anything shown in this film at home! This movie is rated WTF, and while its contents really should not be viewed by anyone, parental guidance is suggested.

 

Enjoy this movie? DIGG it here: http://digg.com/comedy/Craziest_Christmas_Gift_Movie_Ever_Period

Scorching Hot 2008 Calendar from AmericanMuscle.com and Modified Mustangs Magazine

With Christmas almost here, that means 2008 is just around the corner. Wouldn’t it be great if you could mark off the days with a calendar filled with hot girls and hot Mustang parts? Now you can!

AmericanMuscle is happy to introduce the AmericanMuscle & Modified Mustang 2008 Calendar.

2008 calendar

2008 calendar girls

With 12 months of scantily clad women and the hottest Mustang parts around, this calendar will keep you warm year round! What more can you ask for? The American Muscle & Modified Mustangs calendar is the perfect addition to any wall. It makes a great gift, too. Get one for yourself, and every other Mustang lover you know!

With a price this low, you really can’t go wrong. But these are flying off the shelves. Get yours today, while supplies last!

Sweatshirts & More To Keep You Warm This Winter!

As Old Man Winter quickly inches closer, thoughts of staying warm are on everyone’s mind. I don’t know many people that like to drive with a bulky winter coat on, which is why these new AmericanMuscle sweatshirts are perfect!

 


 

Available in Black and Grey, these heavyweight, 100% Cotton sweatshirts are the perfect way to stay warm. Whether in class or on the job, in the car or on the couch, these sweatshirts are designed for maximum comfort in any environment. They feature the official AmericanMuscle.com logo on both the front and back, and are a great way to show your AmericanMuscle pride. And you can’t beat the prices! These are flying off the shelves, so get yours now!

 

And, while you’re picking up one of our sweatshirts, don’t forget to check out our ever-growing selection of Mustang T-Shirts for Men and Women. There’s something for everyone! T-shirts for the men, rompers for the babies, and tank tops for the babes. And much, much more! Check out the pics below for a sneak peek, and then come on over and see what else we’ve got!

New Products: Jewelry for the Mustang Lover in Your Life

Looking for the perfect gift for the Mustang lover in your life? Wanna show your Mustang love even when you’re not in your car? Now you can make a statement without saying a word with the latest in Mustang Jewelry from AmericanMuscle.com!

We offer several different styles of rings and necklaces for both men and women, and this Ford licensed jewelry is a must have for any die-hard Mustang fan.

Here’s a sneak peek at what we have!

 

Sterling Silver Mustang Ring — available in Men’s size 11 and Ladies’ size 7, this ring features the word ‘MUSTANG’ stamped in block lettering to match your ‘Stang’s bumper. The letters are black enamel and will look sharp on anyone’s finger.

 

Sterling Silver Mustang Script Ring – also available in a Ladies’ 7 and a Men’s 11, this ring features the word ‘MUSTANG’ in an elegant script.

 

Sterling Silver Mustang Running Pony Necklace  – For the ladies delicate necks, this necklace comes on an 18" chain, and measures 3/4" wide by 1/8" tall. For the men, the pendant measures 1 and 1/4" wide by 7/16" tall and comes on an 18" chain. Made from highly detailed metal molds, each pendant is hand-filed and polished for a beautiful finish.

 


 

Sterling Silver Mustang Tri-Bar Pendant Necklace — Featuring an 18" rope chain, this sterling silver pendant measures 5/8" wide and 3/4" tall.

 

So, what are you waiting for? Christmas is coming! Buy your Mustang jewelry now, and surprise the Mustang lover in your life with these beautiful pieces.