Monthly Archives: February 2009

Top 15 Useless Customer Searches

Customer Survey Results in Humorous Results!

We recently surveyed a portion of our customers to see what they were searching for on American Muscle. The results were very useful in helping us to provide better products and services, but we also received quite a few “interesting” results at the same time!

Below you will find the top 15 most humorous searches that we came across…and our research team’s comments on them!

  1. Searched: “give me mustang parts”

    • “I heard people say this internet thing is amazing, but I can’t seem to get it to do what I tell it to do. No matter how many times I ask, I just can’t seem to get the parts out of my computer.”

  2. Searched: “mustang parts?”
    • “I frequently sit and ponder the meaning of mustang parts…”

  3. Searched: “2004 MASTANK PARTS”
    • “The development of the MASTANK was the turning point in the war.”

  4. Searched: “obsolete mustang parts”
    • “Today, I’d like to see a lot of things that are outdated and therefore useless.”

  5. Searched: “american mussel”
    • “They go great with marinara sauce or a squeeze of lemon.”

  6. Searched: “saline wheels”
    • “For Dry, Itchy, Irritated Wheels…”

  7. Searched: “mustang future parts”
    • “Including the Cold Fusion Air Intake and the Steeda Flux Capacitor.”

  8. Searched: “1996 mustang gt is to slow”
    • “Need mo’betta parts!”

  9. Searched: “4point6 mustang parts”
    • “I don apostrophe t get it comma what is wrong with that search term question mark”

    • “Lie, Cheat or Steal. Same way I got my woman.”

  11. Searched: “black bullet hole wheels”
    • “I know a couple of places in Philly you can get these for free.”

  12. Searched: “ for 1192 ford mustang”
    • “It’s well known that Genghis Khan drove a Mach 1. I think that’s why the Chinese built that wall.”

  13. Searched: “mustang luvers”
    • “Gives the word “auto-erotic” a whole new meaning, doesn’t it?”

  14. Searched: “parts for inside my mustang”
    • “You mean, like, a liver or an intestine? Cuz I know a guy…”

  15. Searched: “mustang assories”
    • “Once I forgot to lock my door and my mom caught me looking at the assories catalog.”

So, what did you search for on American Muscle?

AM Prove Your Love For Mustangs Contest – $400 In Prizes! Valentines Contest
Prove Your Love For Mustangs & American Muscle!
Friday February 13th Through Monday March 2nd
Click to submit your entry now!

Do you love Mustangs? Is AmericanMuscle your one true love? Is your significant other green with jealously because you spend more time and money on your car then with them? Then this contest is for you!

The AmericanMuscle Valentines Contest gives you a chance to prove your love of Mustangs and AmericanMuscle is true! And the best part is, we are giving you complete creative freedom on this one. You could draw a picture, make a movie, write a song or poem, take a picture, use your skills in flash animation, the possibilities are truly endless!

But the really really good part is, the three submissions that best prove their love for AmericanMuscle and Mustangs will be taking home a total of $400 in AmericanMuscle Gift Certificates!

The Prizes:

  • First Place – $250 AmericanMuscle Gift Certificate
  • Second Place – $100 AmericanMuscle Gift Certificate
  • Third Place – $50 AmericanMuscle Gift Certificate

To submit your entry, you must attach it to your email or if it is over 2MB, you must host it on an FTP, YouTube, PhotoBucket, or a similar site and include the full URL to it. Send your completed entry to: The winners will be carefully selected by our expert judges!

The Fine Print:

  • Entries must be submitted to
  • Your entry or entries must be submitted before 3:00PM Eastern Time on Monday March the 2nd. Winners will be announced Friday March 6th.
  • You must include your full name, address, phone number, and email address when submitting. (Personal information will only be used internally for our records and to deliver your prize. No personal information collected will be used for outside solicitations or sold in any way.)
  • Everyone is eligible to enter, you do not have to have made a previous purchase from
  • You may submit as many unique entries as you want. Do Not SPAM the same entry multiple times or ALL of your entries will be disqualified!
  • Contest entries must be kept appropriate for website publishing in order to win. (Think PG13 or Cleaner)
  • Contest open to US residents only, certain terms and conditions apply. Valentines Contest
Prove Your Love For Mustangs & American Muscle!
Friday February 13th Through Monday March 2nd
Click to submit your entry now!

AM Name That Part Win That Part Winner Announced! Name That Part Win That Part Contest
Winner Announced!

The American Muscle Name That Part Win That Part Contest is over and we had a great turnout with over 150 people submitting 100% perfect entries! Congrats to you that figured out the parts! To those of you that did not…don’t feel bad…just study hard, for this is not the last time you will see the likes of this contest!

Now on to our winner whose name was drawn randomly from all of the correct entries submitted:

Stephen B. of Portage, MI

Stephen correctly identified all of the parts and will be receiving a Pypes 304 Stainless Steel Violator Axle-Back w/ Polished 304 Tips for his 2005-2009 Mustang GT! Once again, thank you to everyone that entered, and make sure to check out the contest’s answer key below!


Answer Key:


For original full contest details, click here!